Sunday, August 25, 2013

Replacement San Diego Mayor has masturbation problem.

New York Post

From bad to gross?
A potential candidate to succeed disgraced San Diego mayor Bob Filner has been caught openly masturbating in restrooms on multiple occasions, according to investigative site VoiceOfOC.org.
When Carl DeMaio, one of the leading Republican candidates to replace alleged serial sexual harasser Filner, was in the City Council, he would allegedly leave the dais during meetings to masturbate in a men’s room, former City Council president Ben Hueso said.
Hueso, now a Democratic state senator, said he witnessed DeMaio in the act twice, but others suspect his inappropriate activity was more frequent. The politician said he walked into the restroom some time in 2009 and saw his colleague standing at a urinal with his pants around his ankles.
“DeMaio was masturbating,” Hueso told the website. “He jumped, caught by surprise. He jumped to the sink ... saying ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry’ about six times. Then washed his hands, darted out.”
Marti Emerald, a City Councilwoman, confirmed the account, saying she saw Hueso right after the alleged incident.
“Ben was in a state of shock, face red, eyes bulging,” Emerald said. “I said: ‘You look like you just saw the devil?’ He said: ‘DeMaio is masturbating in the middle of the room.’”
What a jerk off this guy is, am I right?
(Sorry, had to)

Let's be clear here: No one is reinventing the jerking off game like Carl DeMaio. The man's a god damn pioneer. The Lewis & Clark of jerk off exploration. Most Mayors that want to relieve a little workplace tension would punk out and do their shame spank in the bathroom stall. Maybe even call in the point guards of penis and hire a prostitute for the assist. Not Carl DeMaio.

When your predecessor sets the world record for most titties fondled without consent, you know you best step your freak game up. This is the god damn mayoral race! Beating yourself red in the face is a good start, sure. But any amateur can do that. Shit, I did that and I was only running for Student Counsel Treasurer. Carl DeMaio knows what few other perverts do. It's all about location, location, location. So when he saw the opportunity to turn a urinal into a sperm bank, he took it. Cause he gets it! Style points baby! It's all about branding in politics. And he's now branded himself as the guy who jerked off in a urinal.

Now let's get serious for a moment. If I was Carl, first thing I would do though would be fire the assistant that caught me. Not out of embarrassment or a desire to cover it up, but because of the lack of leadership and outright laziness. If you're my assistant and you catch me doing an impromptu urinal solo on my meat whistle, the first thing out of your little bitch mouth should be, "Can I get you anything Mr. Mayor?" Don't just stand there watching. Unless I ask you to. The assistant game is cut throat. It's all about going that extra mile.

P.S.

How shitty must Pres feel knowing that these guys got enough signatures to become mayor?

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