The World Record for Most McNuggets Eaten in 3 Minutes is 24? That's It?

College Student Devours McNuggets, Breaks Guinness World Record


So this kid set the record for most McNuggets eaten in 3 minutes. I would have bet my life though that it would take at least triple digits to have the record for this one. 24 McNuggets is what a drunk kid puts down after a night of mainlining tequila on a Friday night.

So, next time you find yourself at McDonalds you can order a 6 piece and be normal, or you can order 25 nuggets and try to become a world champion.

P.S. Sweet and sour sauce bro? It's BBQ or Honey Mustard. That's it.

P.P.S. This dude's boyfriend must have been proud right?

Dave Chappelle Gets Booed at Comedy Gig, Walks Offstage

Comedian Dave Chappelle, who recently returned to stand-up on a comeback tour, was on stage in Hartford, Conn., Thursday night when he was apparently heckled by a large audience and walked off.

“I forgive some of you, but I don’t forgive all of you. You guys have totally ruined by chances of running for Congress or something,” the comedian said before allegedlyflipping off the noisy crowd and walking off to a Kanye West track.

Chappelle is headlining the 15-city tour of the Funny or Die Oddball Festival.

Members of the audience immediately took to social media claiming the comedian “bombed” and suffered a “meltdown.” Others blamed the “obnoxious” crowd for preventing the show from continuing.

Hartford Police said extra patrols were called in as a precaution and for potential crowd control after some fans became very upset and demanded their money back.

There is nothing on earth worse than going to a comedy show where the audience sucks. Where every drunken asshole thinks that being in the crowd is some kind of tryout where maybe if I say something funny they'll just kick the comedian offstage and I'll get to talk. Newsflash, unless your name is Richard Pryor's ghost you're probably not funnier than Dave Chappelle.

Shit like this though is why Chappelle should get his own TV show though. When he gets in front of crowds all people want to hear is stuff from Chappelle's show. Say Charlie Murphy! Reenact the entire player hater's ball! 

If Chappelle went back on TV he might be able to tell some of the jokes he wants to tell without dealing with hardos from Hartford, CT...let me say that again, Hartford, CT....ruining his show.

Public Service Announcement: The next time you're at a comedy show and someone in the crowd is heckling the comedian and ruining the show, just kick that person in the dick as hard as you can. Not only is it allowed, but you'll probably get a standing ovation.

Lamar Odom Arrested for DUI

NBA veteran Lamar Odom was arrested early Friday on suspicion of driving under the influence, according to police.

Odom was taken into custody at 3:54 a.m. local time after a California Highway Patrol officer saw his white Mercedes-Benz traveling erratically on a San Fernando Valley Freeway. The CHP report said Odom's car was observed traveling in a "serpentine manner" before he pulled off the freeway.

The police report stated that Odom continued to drive when authorities tried to pull him over before he eventually stopped. Odom showed "objective signs of intoxication and was unable to perform field sobriety tests as explained and demonstrated," the CHP report said. At the Van Nuys jail, Odom refused all chemical tests and was booked for investigation of driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs at 5:01 a.m., CHP officials said.

Multiple media outlets reported Odom's arrest earlier Friday.

Odom, 33, made headlines this week for alleged drug use. A source told ESPN that Odom was staying at a Los Angeles hotel and friends were trying to help him deal with a drug problem. TMZ had reported that he was missing for 72 hours after a fight with his wife, Khloe Kardashian Odom. Odom's agent refuted a TMZ report Sunday.

TMZ also reported that people close to Odom feared he was involved with drugs.

Odom spent last season with the Los Angeles Clippers and has been pursued in free agency this summer by the Clippers and Los Angeles Lakers.

Odom had his best years during his seven seasons with the Lakers, beginning in 2004-05. The team won NBA championships in 2010 and 2011, and Odom won the NBA's sixth man award in 2011.

After spending the 2012 season with the Dallas Mavericks, he returned to the Clippers last year.

Everybody just needs to give Odom some space. Unless you're also married to a Kardashian (and if you are that means you're Kanye...and if you're Kanye and you're reading this, fuck off your baby's crying) you would have no idea how many drugs it takes to handle that type of marriage. Some guys need to go to the bar before they come home from work so they can deal with their wife's nagging. Odom just needs a 72 hour bender on crack cocaine and heroin. Give a dude a break.     

How long until Odom gets signed by the Knicks now? A week? He's got everything the Knicks want in a player. 

Won a championship in the past? Check. 5 years past his prime? Yup. A distraction to the team? Check. "Celebrity" wife? Courtside. Can't play defense? Too old. Possibility of playing high during a game? Check. Is a 7 foot tall black man who once played basketball? That's really all the Knicks need to know.

Soccer, and The Problem With ESPN

Note, this article first appeared at www.premiershiptalk.com





Here in America, ESPN is truly the “Worldwide Leader In Sports.” Millions of people wake up with Sportscenter in the morning, and go to bed with it on in the evening. Anyone in America that follows sports seemingly gets their information from ESPN. (and while I love the anchors Jay and Dan at Fox Sports 1, they just drew a 0.0 rating. So, who the fuck really is watching that channel?)

The only problem? ESPN has literally no respect for soccer.

Let me start by saying that I understand the soccer isn’t the most popular sport in America. I understand that most people in America would probably consider the NFL, MLB, NBA, and Nascar to be more popular, meaning ESPN putting hours upon hours of soccer on their networks would probably get them bad ratings.

With that being said, ESPN must understand that soccer in America will only go as far as they are willing to take it. People have argued about making soccer popular in the United States, but I feel that no one has questioned the way in which soccer is presented on ESPN. Many people are casual observers of sports, and Sportscenter is the show in which they derive most of their information. Here is where many of the problems arise:

There is absolutely no way that soccer will become popular in the United States if the anchors on Sportscenter continually make a joke of the highlights they are presenting. Anchors such as Neil Everett always make a joke of the names of teams and players when they talk about a soccer highlight, and act as if no one in America actually cares about what they are presenting. The only way a soccer highlight makes an appearance on Sportscenter is if a crazy goal is scored, or if they are contractually obligated to show it based upon their exclusive network rights.
I’m not sure if soccer is some inside joke at ESPN, but I know that the people on TV would surely get reprimanded if they laughed through an entire NFL highlight, or harshly make fun of the city in which a team plays in. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched ESPN and had to change the channel because the people on TV were passive aggressively bashing soccer.

And what about the people at ESPN that actually do know about soccer. Where are they? Currently ESPN has 1 show dedicated to soccer called ESPN FC. You can’t find this show on ESPN however, you have to go to one of their family of networks. FC is currently on either ESPN NEWS or ESPN 2 maybe once a week with a weekly coverage of approximately 2 hours, all on a couple networks that few people even get. A couple hours a week on ESPN bastard channels? Fishing legitimately gets more coverage than soccer.

ESPN has all the tools to make soccer in the United States popular. They have a seemingly endless budget, which in turn has given them the rights in the past to the Champions League tournament, the World Cup, and the United States national team (although they have recently been outbid by NBC for the Premier League). Coverage of these tournaments is good (if not great) when it is happening, and interest seems to sharply gain due to many casual observers noticing the high level of play that the MLS rarely provides. However,  after the tournament is over, ESPN does nothing with the new casual viewers. They make no attempt to draw new fans in. I believe there is plenty of high level soccer year round, that if shown, would not hurt ESPN’s ratings at all.

David Beckham and Thierry Henry have proven that an established superstar going to the MLS is not going to make soccer in America important.

I feel that the job truly belongs to ESPN.

Sexual Hypothetical

This hypothetical situation comes from the barstool page on reddit.

The scenario:

Let's say you were given the option to have sex with any woman of your choosing, but the age in which the girl is when you have sex with her is completely random. So for example, if you choose Taylor Swift you would be forced have sex with her when she is anywhere from the ages of let's say 18-75. The question is, who do you pick?

Personally I thought this was a great question. There's really two ways you can go about this situation. The first is that you pick someone who is young and hot now and project how they will age later on in life. Perhaps someone like a Mila Kunis or Selena Gomez? The other way you can go about it, which I think is the best way, is pick someone who is older now who is still hot, then pray you get them when they are younger. For example, you would probably still throw it in Hellen Mirren, Demi Moore, and Catherine Zeta-Jones right? Now imagine if you luck out and get them at 20. You can't lose.

For me, the choice comes down to two people: Cindy Crawford or Christie Brinkley.





Unfortunately this hypothetical situation doesn't work for chicks. As sad as it is to say, there really is only one right answer for them.

Polish Woman Wants to Have Sex With 100,000 Men.

It's good to have a goal in life, but the one purportedly expressed by a woman in Warsaw, Poland, may be a stretch.

Ania Lisewska, 21, is allegedly attempting to travel to every city in the world so she can have sex with at least 100,000 men for 20 minutes each.

"I want men from Poland, Europe and all around the world. I love sex, fun and men," she said, according to the Austrian Times. "In Poland the subject of sex is still taboo and anyone who wants to fulfill their sexual fantasies is considered a deviant, a whore or mentally ill."

The supposed sex marathon allegedly began last month in Warsaw, according to her Facebook page, and she hopes to have her way across Poland before moving to other countries.

So far, she's had sex with 284 men, according to Fakt.pl and didn't let the fact she has a serious boyfriend stop her.

He told the Polish language website he was "not thrilled" with her unusual hobby, but had no choice and "had to come to terms" with it.

Her Facebook page currently only has slightly more than 9,000 likes, but Lisewska is allegedly attempting to attract potential partners by setting up a website where they can register and kept apprised of her current activities.

The story raises eyebrows for a number of reasons. First, Lisewska's website isn't working properly except for the front page.

In addition, she has not responded to media requests.

Then there is the nature of the quest itself. Having sex with 100,000 people for 20 minutes each would take a person more than 3.8 years -- and that's only if they went at it day and night without breaks for sleep, food or personal hygiene.

Whoa Ania sweetheart, why so prude? Only 100,000 people? Schoolgirl city if you ask me. Anyone who's worth anything in the slut game has fucked at least 200,000 people in their lives.

Without a shadow of a doubt though the craziest part of this story is that ole Ania here wants to have sex with each guy for 20 minutes. 20 minutes!? Are you kidding me!? Not only is it not enough for every dick in continental Europe to be thrown in her, but she wants every guy to take 20 minutes out of their day to do it. Hunny, we got more important shit to do than be nut number 58,275 inside you. If I finish in 8 minutes that's gunna be the deal. Sorry. Enjoy your 4 straight years of sex, and 1 year of life afterwards as you die from AIDS.

Poker Player Gets Soul Crushed. I Cry Too.

So this has been going around the web recently. Poker player with 93 percent chance of winning a huge pot gets cocky, loses, and slowly but surely dies inside while we all laugh and watch.

Here's the thing though. I know exactly how this guy feels. It's literally the worst feeling on earth. Some people enjoy gambling, love the rush of winning money. Me, I hate losing in general so much (which happens every time you gamble) that I get angry when I'm simply losing the game I'm playing. Add in the fact that when you lose at a casino you're also losing your money...I'm surprised more people don't kill themselves on the spot.

I went to Atlantic City last year and was on the roulette tables. If you told me before I started gambling that you would see 12-15 reds come out in a row on the table I would have called you crazy. That shit happened at least 6 times while I was there. Needless to say I lost every dollar I had that day. If you had a camera on my face as I watched my last 1,000 dollar chip get taken away as yet another red came up, I probably would have looked a lot like this schmuck.

Couple Caught Having Sex on Soccer Field..Plus Top 5 Stadiums to Bang In

WHO ATE ALL THE PIES As Manchester United and Chelsea so consummately proved at Old Trafford last night, goalless draws can be infuriatingly frustrating for those forced to sit through the tedium, and we can only imagine the 0-0 snoregasm between Brondby and Randers in the Danish Superliga on Sunday evening was even less entertaining.

Indeed, it seems the Brondby-Randers game was so dull that one particularly bored couple decided they had no other option than to have sex in the middle of the pitch immediately after the final whistle in the desperate hope of livening up their night a bit.

Apparently, the exhibitionists snuck out onto the turf after the rest of the fans had left the stadium, whipped off their clothes and began copulating in the middle of the pitch in full view of Brondby’s press officer Mikkel Davidsen – who dutifully took the photo you see below and posted it straight onto Twitter before the club’s security officer interrupted the post-game show and threw the pair out of the stadium.

The photographic evidence is below, though it may be a little too NSFW-ish for some people’s tastes – especially if you happen to work in a nunnery or a primary school, etc…

Well this is one way to get more Americans to watch soccer. Just have people start banging in the middle of games. I'd watch it.

This is something that has to be on every sports fan's bucket list though right? Having sex on the field of your favorite stadium would probably be the ultimate place to do it. Some people have a dream of making it to the pro's or getting called out of the stands to take an at bat or throw a pass for the hometown team. Like Rookie of the Year or something. Other's more nobly dream of impregnating women at mid field. And honestly you have a better chance of making dream number 3 happen then the other two.

With that said, what are the top 5 best stadiums in the world that you would want to have sex in? Here's my 5.

5. New Orleans Superdome or Penn State's Beaver Stadium





While both of these are iconic stadiums, having sex in either of these stadiums would be strictly for the name alone. Being able to say you got dome in the Superdome, or chased some beaver in Beaver Stadium just adds to the story you tell your friends, or your arresting officer.

4. Lambeau Field



This is strictly for the challenge of it. You know that if you're trying to have sex at Lambeau it's going to be cold, probably snow on the ground. Not optimum conditions for getting it done. But, if you can pull it off you're a legend.

3. Bronco Stadium



I drew the duck blue because I'd never seen a blue duck before, and to be honest with you I wanted to see a blue duck. There's only 1 stadium in the world that has a blue field, and on this list it might as well be a bullseye. The most unique notch you can have on your belt.

2. Yankee Stadium



Even as a Mets fan I recognize that old Yankee Stadium is arguably the most famous field in all of America. Who wouldn't want to bone at home plate at the same place that Babe Ruth batted hungover or Lou Gehrig invented his disease. Not to mention if you had that stadium announcer to call out your moves for you..."Now fucking, the shortstop number 2, Derek Jeter, number two."

1. Cowboys Stadium



Cowboys Stadium gets the win for having the big ass screen that's almost the length of the field. Some people like having sex with a mirror so they can see the reflections and what not. This is like having that times a billion. Not to mention it would make you look HUGE.

Douchebag Writer From Bloomberg Says He Hates Pandas and We Should Let Them Die

BLOOMBERG Congratulations on your new panda cub, Washington! You're prolonging the existence of a hopeless and wasteful species the world should've given up on long ago.I understand the impulse. Some people find them cute. Pandas don't have much of a habitat left in the wild, thanks to heedless human development. And zoos imagine they're doing the right thing, pulling in some extra visitors while helping conservation efforts.
But the first test of a species' worthiness for conservation should be some instinct for self-preservation. And pandas fail objectively.
First, their breeding habits don't suggest a species brimming with vitality. Pandas at a research center in Chengdu were so disinclined to mate that workers there subjected the poor things to Viagra and videos of other bears procreating, hoping they'd get the idea. Zoos, including in Washington, more often resort to artificial insemination. In the wild, where birthrates aren't much better, pandas are prone to inbreeding. Females only ovulate for a few days each year, and if a mother does manage to have more than one cub, she abandons the weakling. That's fine; nature's mean. But don't whine when a species with such habits falls into inexorable decline.
Second, although blessed with a bear's predatory teeth, the lethargic beasts eat almost nothing but bamboo -- a plant that's nearly devoid of nutritional value and disappearing in the wild. Pandas consume 40 pounds of it a day, eating constantly, speeding their own demise.
"Here's a species that of its own accord has gone down an evolutionary cul-de-sac," Chris Packham, a British author and wildlife activist, said in 2009. He argues that "the panda is possibly one of the grossest wastes of conservation money in the last half-century."
He's right. The economics of protecting this doomed species are simply unjustifiable. Canada last year spent $10 million renting the creatures from China while cutting government spending elsewhere. American zoos typically pay the Chinese government $1 million annually for a single panda (subject to negotiation). If they have cubs? That's another $600,000. Taking care of them -- supplying them with a habitat, staff and all that bamboo -- costs five times what it costs for elephants, the next most expensive zoo animal. And zoos typically find that the cost overtakes the benefits in added attendance after about three years.
Lu Zhi, a panda expert from Beijing University, has said that trying to reintroduce pandas to the wild is as "pointless as taking off the pants in order to fart." Yet the Chinese government -- which sees pandas as a source of national pride -- spares no expense on them. That includes funding the Hetaoping Research and Conservation Center for the Giant Panda, where researchers dress up in preposterous panda costumes (I'm really not joking about this) hoping to fool cubs into thinking they're a relative.
This in a country where roughly 160 million people still live in extreme poverty. And all to protect about 1,600 dim herbivores that are debasing the word "bear," which otherwise applies to noble beasts that manage to find plenty to eat in the wild.
Look, Darwinism isn't for crybabies. And conservation requires making tough choices. Pandas had a pretty good run for 3 million years. All that money is better spent on preserving diverse habitats rather than on a single hopeless species.

Man, does anyone deserve to get kicked in the nuts until death more than the guy that wrote this article? I mean of all the animals you're going to choose to shit on you pick the panda? Everyone knows pandas are cuddly creatures who do nothing but love. Sure they only eat bamboo. They fucking like that shit. I would eat pizza everyday too if I could and wasn't worried about having a heart attack at 30. Plus the fact that this guy says we should be using the money to help homeless people over save the pandas is just retarded. How many people do you know have a stuffed animal homeless person? How many times have you heard someone say, "Oh that homeless guy is so adorable!" Fact is homeless people do nothing for me. Pandas give me a boner.


-thanks to Brian and Vinny for the tip.

Tony Jaa Invents Michael Jackson MMA

For those of you that don't know, Tony Jaa is a legitimate bad ass fighter who makes martial arts films of epic proportions. If you haven't seen the movie The Protector yet do yourself a favor and check it out. Jaa breaks 100 guys arms and legs in one scene. What are you waiting for?

Recently it looks like Tony's bored of simply beating the shit out of people normally and has turned to dressing up like Michael Jackson, moonwalking, then kicking your teeth in. I'm just happy that Jaa hasn't resorted to touching small children in his demo's and is just focused on the fighting portion of Jackson's life.

Ladies and gentlemen, Michael Jackson MMA:

Eminem's New Single Is Out

So Eminem is putting out a new album The Marshall Mathers LP 2 later this year. Today he released the second single off the album, a track called "Berzerk."

Not sure how I feel about this one. On one hand I like the mixing in of the classic rock beat, but for some reason listening to Eminem rapping now always takes me back to middle school, which isn't a good thing.







RATE WHAT YOU THINK OF THE NEW TRACK

The Perfect Fantasy Draft to Tell Your League You're Gay

Struggling to tell your fantasy football league you're gay? BarstoolLA has the perfect list of players for you to draft to get your point across.

We guarantee if you draft these players one after another, people will start talking.

- Mike Cox (running back- Atlanta)
- Montario Hardesty (running back- Cleveland)
- Danny Woodhead (running back- San Diego)
- Dorin Dickerson (tight end- Buffalo)
- Ed Dickson (tight end- Baltimore)
- Landon Cox (wide receiver- Tampa Bay)
- Lance Long (wide receiver- Detroit)
- Will Johnson (running back- Pittsburgh)
- Drew Willy (quarterback- CFL)
- Jeff Cumberland (tight end- Jets)
- Jordan Norwood (wide reciever- Cleveland)
- Marvin McNutt (wide receiver- Miami)
- Madison Hedgecock (running back- Giants)

It's a team that's guaranteed to suck balls!

Lamar Odom is Doing Drugs. Gee, Who Would Have Thought.

CBS SPORTS

Lamar Odom's current whereabouts are known and he is not missing, his agent Jeff Schwartz told ESPN.com.

A report from TMZ on Sunday claimed the former Laker star was missing for 72 hours after a dispute with wife Khloe Kardashian. According to the ESPN.com report, Odom has been in a hotel with friends undergoing an intervention for an unspecified drug issue.

However, Schwartz says Odom's location is known and he is safe.

"Lamar is not missing," Schwartz told ESPN.com. "His wife knows exactly where he is."

TMZ's report from Sunday said Odom's family is concerned about crack cocaine use, an issue Odom reportedly has been battling for the last two years.

Odom is currently a free agent and has garnered interest from both the Lakers andClippers, and reportedly is intent on continuing his NBA career.

"Playing in the NBA is still very much a part of Lamar's plans," Schwartz said.

So word on the street is Lamar Odom has a drug problem to go along with his shooting and rebounding problem. You mean to tell me the guy who voluntarily married into the Kardashian clan developed a drug problem? No, say it ain't so! I mean this whole story kind of explains why Odom decided to go to the Mavericks a few years ago. Everyone knows Mark Cuban's got the best shit.

In all seriousness though I'll be the first to admit that this news hurt me. How are they supposed to shoot another season of "Khloe & Lamar" if Lamar's busy shooting "Black Tar Heroin?"

But, you never know. This may increase Odom's points per game average--Now that he shoots with both arms.

DeAndre Jordan Is At It Again

So every offseason DeAndre Jordan tries to remind us that he's on the Clippers too. Not with workouts and hard work, but with his mouth. Last year DeAndre put in offseason work by doing this:



That's right, dicking around with Dave Franco.

When the Clips got Chris Paul, they tried to pitch the new big three: Blake, CP3, and DeAndre. We were lied to. Jordan has the potential to be Shaq. Not Lakers Shaq, but Boston Shaq. Remember when Shaq played in Boston? Gross.

So just when I thought DeAndre was ready to improve on his offesason workouts and get ready for a championship push, he goes and does something like this:



Mclovin! Really!? You let Mclovin posterize you? At least Jonah Hill won an Oscar. There's no coming back from garbage like this.

USC Will Play With Two Quarterbacks in Opening Game

ESPN
LOS ANGELES -- Quarterbacks Max Wittek and Cody Kessler both will play for No. 24 Southern California in its season opener next week.

Coach Lane Kiffin said Saturday that he couldn't pick a starting quarterback after a full offseason of evaluation, so both sophomores will get snaps Thursday at Hawaii.

"That really is how well both guys did," Kiffin told reporters after practice. "For us, we look at it as a great thing. We've got two guys that we feel great about. We don't feel like we have to limit our offense with either one of them in there."

USC's coaches won't even decide on a nominal starter until they arrive in Honolulu on Tuesday.

Kiffin thinks Wittek and Kessler are even in their competition to succeed Matt Barkley, the Trojans' four-year starter. Wittek started the final two games last season for USC while Barkley was injured, but Kessler had a strong training camp this month.

Wittek has a stronger arm and more experience, but Kessler proved to be more mobile while showing off his resourcefulness during camp workouts. They both beat out touted freshman Max Browne, who also was in contention for the starting spot until midway through camp.

"They've both done so well, made so many plays," Kiffin said. "It didn't show itself that one guy was above the other guy, so we do it all the time with other positions. We're not going to be stubborn and name a starter just because we're supposed to, or that's what we've done for 100 years, or whatever that is. We've got to do with all of our decisions what's best for our team."

Yet Kiffin has spent training camp saying he hoped a starter would emerge, acknowledging that using two quarterbacks isn't an ideal way to build a team with question marks at several offensive positions. Biletnikoff Award-winning receiver Marqise Lee also hoped Kiffin would pick a starter so he could develop his timing with one passer.

There's an old saying, "If you have two quarterbacks, you have no quarterbacks." This year it's true for the Jets, the Bills, and yeah it's basically the situation that's happening at USC this year. It's a mortal lock that this blows up in USC's face almost immediately. Please name the last time that a team was able to successfully juggle starting two quarterbacks over the course of a full season. Tebow and Chris Leak at Florida? Jamarcus Russell and Matt Flynn at LSU? Eventually one of those guys took over and thrived without the other.

What I'm more interested in though is how long it takes for Wittek or Kessler to come up with some diabolical plan to sabotage the other guy. Like Kessler gets a call in the middle of the night, "Oh hey man, you busy? Why don't you come over to my frat house. We've got strippers." Boom! Sex scandal and Wittek is the starter. That's what I would do. There's only room for one USC quarterback around here to get drafted and severely underachieve in the NFL.